The Burnout Solution: Remain Kindled
Feed the fire at its source
I hear it all too often.
“My job is consuming me.”
“My disease is consuming me.”
“Parenthood is consuming me.”
“My partnership is consuming me.”
“Schoolwork is consuming me.”
“Relentless caregiving is consuming me.”
Getting consumed is the path to burnout. Something’s gotta give. Something’s gotta change.
Now, burning is the job of fire. It’s inherently indiscriminate in what it consumes.
But it can be guided and redirected.
(Technically, Burnout is defined as an occupational hazard, but the construct exists and impacts many other human lives outside of professional settings. Sometimes the source is personal, interpersonal, familial or social.)
How do we guide the fire?
The metaphor of fire speaks to life itself.
Fire transforms. Fire builds the new. Fire digests the old.
It is central to the trifecta of creation, maintenance, and destruction.
It is capable of all three through its ability to transform.
Uncontrolled fire can lead to destruction.
With nothing left to feed on, this raging fire would eventually die.
It would burn out.
On the other hand, a controlled fire leads to beautiful creations.
It can create the most exquisite, sublime, and wondrous experience.
When someone revels in the beauty of that experience, it feeds their fire. It calms them and centers them. The simple shift in attention helps to slow the burn.
Reveling in the beauty of nature is ready food for the spiritual being. It’s so simple, and it’s free, always available, and reliable.
Where does one find ‘beauty’ to feed the fire?
Sources of accessible ‘spiritual fodder’ are at least threefold: Nature-derived, human-triumphs, deploying our mind.
Nature-derived: Walking in the woods, listening to a gurgling stream, a gushing river, the sound of the ocean, the smell of the woods, the awe of old growths in the forest—living, breathing ecosystems that can co-exist in perfect harmony without human intervention.
Human triumphs: Human intervention has its magic too. There are timeless stories of struggle and strength, narratives of people who overcome adversity to find love, and the resilience of people whose attention and vision are tuned into the suffering of others beyond their own.
These people often become poets, storytellers, scientists, philosophers, and visionaries who go behind the scenes to kindle other souls, empowering them to live with a larger vision.
Deploying the mind: Even if you are physically trapped somewhere, you can close your eyes and escape to that magical place where sublime beauty is found. It is always accessible.
What does beauty reveling actually do?
Once we appreciate the beauty around us, we remind ourselves of the processes that led to this moment.
That helps to tap into the inherent nature of love and patience.
At this place, the being is feeding on love. This eternal love cherishes and nourishes the being. The nature of patience itself allows healing to occur in the spiritual-energetic realm first. It will then manifest downstream in due course.
This state of being allows an unfolding into becoming. Leaning into the unfolding of this present moment and responding to its whispers generates a flow. This flow can be slow or it can be fast. It is not necessarily either. It is what it is meant to be.
That flow generates ease. A reliance on divine design/ higher order/ nature’s flow. Call it what you will. What needs to be cultivated is trust and surrender so that we don’t live under the illusion of being the creator of flow.
We reset to plug into the grand scheme of things. To course-correct. It allows us to witness not only our journeys, but those of others around us. It is a moment that transcends time and space and, with it; human limitations.
We realize that, in this plane of consciousness, we are not separate from those around us. We are distinct, but not separate. We come to feed on the same love, drink the same water. We breathe the same air. We feel the same sun. We walk on the same ground. And no human deserves to be deprived or short-changed for access to those.
It allows one to acknowledge any turbulence, the source of turbulence, and obstructions to flow occurring within and without us.
This patient witnessing uncovers the grand design. It stills all the noise, overcomes transient suffering, and redirects our momentum with the grand flow. Our choices become clear, our thoughts and expressions purify, and we can let go of what doesn’t serve the grander design ultimately.
This is the path to wholeness that one can find repeatedly in the innermost self. Nothing outside needs to change for it.
This is Step One of all healing. The corrections of the mind, ego, and body are all secondary. Witnessing the transforming nature of the Self helps to drop the weight we tend to carry.
All this and more can occur with love. Not with fear.
Fear threatens the fire.
What threatens this fire?
The burdens of the contemporary world on the spiritual fire are real.
Dousers
Misdirectors
Self sabotagers
Flame blowouters
Dousing:
Fire gets doused by giving it more than it can ‘chew’. Imagine a small matchstick trying to ignite a large log of wood.
When one overburdens the fire, it douses. It gets buried under the weight of its food.
We carry the weight of identity, role, responsibility, expectation, an unprocessed past, and an uncertain future. When we hold ourselves responsible for the outcomes, instead of our responses; we create agony, strife, and disease.
Misdirections:
The expectations of oneself and others.
Ignorance.
Not actively seeking liberating knowledge creates a dependence on old patterns that no longer serve the purpose of the grand design.
What is vidya or true knowledge?
“Ya Vidya sa vimuktaye” True knowledge is the one that liberates. How often do we dip into that and seek to understand the nature of all things?
Self-Sabotagers:
Fire is also extinguished when it has nothing left to burn.
Hyperfocus on outward performance-rewarding milieus. Relying on other’s opinions of you or your loved ones creates a costly burn.
Constantly acting out of fear with no space to rebuild, renavigate, or pause.
Choosing distractions, indulgence and appeasements over the idea of sitting with your emotions and discomfort.
Engaging in social obligations that don’t feed the spiritual fire
Engagement in hustle culture, fun, fast easy
Flame-Blowouters
This term was used by Brene Brown, one of the top Ted X speakers who is teaching the world about vulnerability and courage.
They are real. The familial and social environments that we engage in have to be carefully curated.
She shared a German idea of Fruedenfreud - which means surrounding yourself with people who take joy in your pleasure. Its simple. You did it! It’s great! Wuhu!
Those who witness your struggles and cheer your victories. Those who will guide you back to yourself when you are lost. Remind you of who you are. Who can dispassionately discuss an experience to learn from it. Those who celebrate your success without entitlement. Those who will support you and cheer you and celebrate you even when things look grim. Those who will patiently wait for you to awaken and realize. Those who will not shame and guilt you when you are weak. Keep those people close. Lean into them.
The rest, are flame blowouters. Guard against them, but without anger.
With compassion. For they too have their journeys!
The inherent word hidden in kindling is kindness.
Let’s pray to be brave enough to never lose it.
Until next time!
Love,
Nami
(I have received such loving encouragement to write from many of you. I would love your comments and feedback on the threads for others to view.)
Next post on Building the fire and the positive spiral.
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